Rossie revelry proves there’s life in the provincial championships yet

Ahead of the Munster final, Joanne Cantwell was asking Colm ‘Gooch’ Cooper and Brian Fenton how many provincial titles they had won during their day. Neither was too sure, so many had there been – Gooch: “nine or 10?” – but both were too polite to point out that the only titles they ever really counted were of the Sam Maguire-ish kind.

“We have 12 All-Irelands between the three of us,” said Brian, him having won seven, Gooch five and their fellow panellist, Mayo old boy Lee Keegan, well…

But come the end of the Connacht final, there was a reappraisal of the value of a provincial title as we witnessed the victor’s celebrations.

“Huggin’, kissin’, everything is going on, they’re all in love in Roscommon,” as Marty Morrissey described the scene, like a mass orgy was taking place on the Dr Hyde Park pitch.

Which it kind of was, less the debauchery, of course, Rossie revelry reaching fever pitch after the county had completed a historic first – a minor, under-20 and senior Connacht clean sweep. Whatever about the rest of the province, Roscommon is most certainly awake.

“This is what it’s all about,” said Brian, by now the fella so besotted with provincial-winning joy, he was probably going to count the Leinster medals at the back of his drawer once he got home.

Earlier, down in Killarney, Kerry won, approximately, their 8,529th Munster title, which came as no enormous surprise to the panel.

Joanne: “Are any of you tipping Cork today?”

Brian: “No.”

Gooch: “No.”

Lee: “No.”

An eight-point triumph for the Kingdom in the end, among the highlights that David Clifford two-pointer that would have collided with Artemis II if Artemis II hadn’t come back down to earth a few weeks back. A thing of loveliness.

“This man is just on a different planet when it comes to playing Gaelic football,” said Lee, while Brian doffed his cap to Clifford’s county. “Kerry did what Kerry do, business as usual.”

Celtic didn’t do what Celtic always do earlier in the day: they beat Rangers. “Maeda ain’t no finisher,” Sky’s Chris Sutton had said during the first half, before the Maeda lad scored two in four second half minutes, the second a worldie, to set up a do-or-die-title-blockbuster against Hearts next Saturday.

[ Daizen Maeda’s brilliance takes Celtic past Rangers and puts Hearts on spotOpens in new window ]

That will be dramatic, but it’ll do well to match the ding-dong between West Ham and Arsenal on Sunday afternoon. You can only assume that most of the respective clubs’ supporters ended up in A&E. Maybe the Spurs and Manchester City faithful too.

“I’ve got a really beautiful nervousness,” Ian Wright said before the game, Jamie Redknapp giving him a hug, our Roy sporting that “calm yourself, man” look.

Off we went, and a whole 83 minutes elapsed before the scoreboard was troubled, Leandro Trossard giving Arsenal the lead with his first goal in 25 games. This reopened the wound of Nadine Noordam scoring her first ever goal for Brighton in the 95th minute of their FA Cup semi-final against Liverpool earlier on Sunday, completing a comeback from 2-0 down.

It’s not that you ever want to see Liverpool reach a final of any kind, but when our Denise O’Sullivan, who scored their opener, is denied a day out at Wembley, then that does nothing for your footballing mood.

Back to West Ham v Arsenal. “This an earthquake, a tremor of a moment,” said Gary Neville when the bubble-blowing folk appeared to have equalised in the dying seconds of the game. “This is the biggest moment in VAR history in the Premier League.” “An absolutely mammoth moment,” Peter Drury agreed.

So, by now, we knew it was a big moment. “Has VAR the nerves, the guts, the courage to make this decision – this is massive for refereeing in this country,” Gary continued as the telly people checked to see if David Raya had been fouled by Pablo. “Arsenal Football Club – their first title in 22 years could rest on this.” Whenever “Football Club” is needlessly added to the name of a football club, you know things are serious.

In the end, VAR – and the ref – had the nerves, guts and courage to disallow the goal, thereby sending Arsenal and Spurs in the direction of ecstasy, and West Ham and Manchester City towards despair. Yes, of course, VAR is a blight on this game we love, but bloody ‘eck, it’s mighty craic.

Jamie delivered his verdict on the contest: “One of the best worst games I’ve ever seen.” We didn’t find out if Wrightie agreed, he was, most likely, heading for A&E.

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