Damir Dzumhur: Three years ago I nearly died; Now I get to do what I love

My Point

Damir Dzumhur: Three years ago I nearly died; Now I get to do what I love

Dzumhur writes My Point first-person essay about battle with acute pancreatitis

ATP Tour/Getty Images Damir Dzumhur has climbed as high as No. 23 in the PIF ATP Rankings. By Damir Dzumhur

The period after Roland Garros in 2022 was probably the worst moment of my life. Had I not been young and otherwise healthy, I don’t know if I would have made it out alive.

It started after I lost my first-round qualifying match to Fernando Verdasco in Paris. I had huge stomach pain and after contacting a doctor, I went to the hospital. They diagnosed me with acute pancreatitis and quickly moved me to the intensive care unit, where I stayed for six days.

The days were long, especially at the beginning. The pain was just killing me, so I could not sleep unless they gave me strong painkillers. The nights were very long and time did not feel like it was passing.

The doctors never figured out how I came down with the illness. Unfortunately, it just happened suddenly. That is possible, but the chances are very small for someone who is healthy and does not eat very poorly or drink heavily.

I spent my 30th day in a French hospital without my family and tennis was the furthest thing from my mind. My son, Luka, had been born the previous October, and instead of enjoying life with him, I was in a hospital bed in a different country not knowing what the future held for me.

I asked to be moved to Belgrade because we found a really good doctor about whom we heard a lot of good things, and I also wanted to be closer to my family. The doctors in Paris were against it because they told me I was not really in shape to go anywhere. I didn’t understand how serious my situation was.

Those doctors are the people who saved my life — I cannot give them enough credit for that. But in those difficult moments a lot goes through your head and you become desperate to be with those you love. My overwhelming feeling was the need to be home.

They transferred me to Belgrade, where I was in the hospital for another two and a half weeks. But I still managed to experience one of the best moments of my life, which was getting to see my son again. They allowed me visitors when they took me out of intensive care and while the happiest moment of my life was when Luka was born, the second was when I saw him in that hospital.

It was a tough time, but knowing that you are living for something is totally different. Kids are special and they give you energy that nobody else can. One of the reasons why I still am competing is because I have somebody who I will fight for and about whom I'm always thinking, even when he's not at tournaments with me. I always have him in my head and that's the best thing that I think anybody can get.

After more than 20 days, I was released from the hospital and then the recovery started. For the doctors, I managed to improve pretty fast. But for me, it was very slow. I had lost 11 kilos and when I got out I weighed just 55 kilos, which is barely 120 pounds.

I didn’t think of tennis at that point and did not know how I was going to come back. I did not even know if I was going to return at all. Tennis players are so used to being focused on our games and results, but I was just happy that I was alive.

Once I began feeling better and gained some of the weight back, the thought came into my mind that it would be nice to start practising and competing again. It is just in my blood — I love competing and doing everything I can to win.

By August of that year, I fell to No. 243 in the PIF ATP Rankings, but importantly I was back on court. That started a journey I think about as my returning years, doing everything to get back to where I already was.

In 2018, I reached No. 23 in the world. Simply returning to the Top 100 seemed like it was not possible and I couldn’t really imagine climbing back near the top of the sport. But one year ago I made it back to the Top 100 and now I’m getting close to the Top 50, which is great.

I am playing good tennis, feeling well with my game and very good physically on the court. Twenty years ago, if somebody would have the problems they did when I was 30, they probably would have stopped playing tennis immediately. Back then, players retired by 31 or 32 even if they were healthy.

But tennis has changed a lot, with stars now competing at 38, 39, even 40 years old. It is crazy seeing champions like Novak Djokovic, Gael Monfils and Stan Wawrinka still playing at this stage on such a high level. That motivates me as a 33-year-old and gives me hope that I can keep going myself. I still don't consider myself old in tennis years.

Earlier this season, I made the third round at Roland Garros and won a set against eventual champion Carlos Alcaraz in a night-session match. It is an unbelievable memory for me, one of my favourite from tennis. Court Philippe-Chatrier had one of the best atmospheres that I’ve been a part of in my life and when I won the third set, the crowd was going crazy.

I lost the match, but felt such special emotions competing on such a memorable stage against one of the best players in the world, who probably will be one of the best players in history. He has a plan A, B, C and D, and probably the whole alphabet of plans that he can play. He's one of the fastest players and has so many variations in his game that he can execute on the highest level.

In 2018, I lost match points against Alexander Zverev at Roland Garros. The next year I fell and broke my shoulder there. In 2022, you know what happened. It was nice to make a happy memory again in Paris.

Now I have a chance to face Alcaraz for the second time this year in Cincinnati. I'll try to give my best and find the game that was helping me win at some points against him a few months ago. We will see what will happen.

The most important thing is that I am here at all. When I suffered with my pancreas, I didn't think about tennis. Now I'm in a position to play again at the biggest tournaments against the best opponents.

Three years ago I nearly died. Now I get to do what I love.

- As told to Andrew Eichenholz.

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